Archives for April, 2008
Posted on Apr 28, 2008 under Uncategorized |
You can love someone without liking them..
That’s the line I remember uttered by a leading lady in a well-known tv series I watched last night.
Right at that moment, I understand my feelings for someone before. We’re not together anymore. But at least now, I understand my own feelings.
I loved him. Yeah. I loved him so much. But I don’t understand why I hated it. I hated the feeling that I loved him. I don’t know why I deny to all people that I loved him. Whenever they asked why are we just friends, I always shake. We can be more than that, we both know it. People around us know it. But why do we remain casual? Why we did not pursue a more-than-friends relationship?
Maybe that leading lady I am talking about really got the answer to my disturbed feelings before. I do loved him. But I don’t liked him.
And you completely know the power that you have
The only one that makes me laugh
Sad and it’s not fair how you take advantage of the fact that I
Love you beyond the reason why
And it just ain’t right
And I hate how much I love you
I can’t stand how much I need you
What’s with the PAST tense? Make up your mind, Vanny! Lock yourself in your room!
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Posted on Apr 26, 2008 under Uncategorized |
What comes into your mind when you hear weekend?
Maybe rest? Gimmick? Mall strolling? Long sleep? I mean looonggg sleep?
*sigh* Poor Vanny. When I hear weekend, first thought that comes into my mind is “I envy them. They’ll have a looonggg sleep while I need to get up early and go to office and work like a machine!”
Oh well, off topic. I figured it out what who will be the one that can take away the curse of food to my stomach! You are really my guilty pleasure. Tsk tsk. I don’t wanna accept the fact that I still fear you when it comes to my eating habit, huh. But it really shows. Haha. Or maybe my stomach is saying that I miss eating with you by my side? Sshhh. Don’t say it loud, dear!
Err. Maybe the last statement is true. Because as of now, I don’t wanna eat again. Bad stomach! I’m not hungry, though. Let’s just see until when will my stomach be like this. So stubborn. ^_^
Need to get going! I’ll do the freaking programming and try to finish it and don’t let it ruin my weekend next time. hehe. Happy weekend guys! *Work harder Vanny!*
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Posted on Apr 24, 2008 under Uncategorized |
For the record, i ate dinner last night – half rice and chicken leg from a well-known kiddo fastfood. And brunch a while ago – egg omellete and a cup of rice. That’s good Vanny, you’re being a good girl now, huh? 
Oh, that’s not what I wanna blab now. Start here.
I am sorry to admit that I broke an agreement with a friend yesterday, April 23, 2008. To make it official, the agreement was set last December 12, 2007. You asked me to blog about this agreement before, but I didn’t find time to do it. Or much better to say is I really did not find the time to blog it. ^_^ And you said that the agreement is void after 10 years. And that’s it. It’s only four months and I already broke it. But hey, I am the only one who knew it, you did not see that I broke it already. Lolx. But the point is, I did. Err. So sorry.
Oh don’t get me wrong. It’s just a half-joke-half-tease agreement. I didn’t agree with it at first but they made me agree with it. Ah whatever. Never mind what you just read.
Yesterday, a friend help me to take away my confusions about phone booths ish. Why don’t you just make a conference call? Whooaah. One question answered all my questions. Hahaha.
My brain is not in the right place at the moment, I think. Perhaps I need to refresh and do the i-am-busy-mode here in office. Psh. ^^,
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Posted on Apr 22, 2008 under Uncategorized |
It’s been three days since my last post. Poor Vanny, can’t tweak her blog ’cause of over work. Grrr. Anyhow, it’s fine. I don’t know what should I say here anyway.
I can’t think clearly. Due to Sky Flakes Crackers overload?! haha.
*Oh, don’t laugh, Vanny. Eating only crackers for almost three days is not a joke! When I said almost three days, I mean 3 breaksfast, 3 lunch and 2 dinner. Eating just a piece of crackers?! Oh geeze. You got to be kiddin’ me!*
Well, I don’t know. I just don’t wanna eat. No reason at all why. Low appetite. *sigh*
My friends are teasing me if I can still program in this situation, how come my brain is still working if i didn’t feed my stomach. Tsk tsk.
Appetite, appetite! Where the hell can I get you? And if ever you gonna see me, please bring your fiend REST.
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Posted on Apr 19, 2008 under Uncategorized |
One Two words that can really describe me? Fickle Minded.
I am so confused. In a minute, i like this one. After a minute, i like this other one. And after an hour, i like the first one again. Then go back to other one. So on and so forth.
Oh my.. Don’t know what should I feel. Maybe I’ll just use my cellphone to make a call. Or don’t make any call at all. That’s safe, huh. >_<
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Posted on Apr 18, 2008 under Uncategorized |
Am I? Oh well.. Kinda. Sort of. A little. Errr. Whadda! ^_^
Hmmm. Looks like I’m happy today, ne? Why is that so? Yesterday, I feel so down, and now I am so up! Huh? Whatever you say, Vanny! Toinkz!
Is that because I got 8 hours sleep? Nah. I only got 5 hours rest. But it’s improving, ayt? 
Is that because I ate proper meal? Nah. I only ate instant noodles last night and three (or four?) bites of siopao. And only siopao (again?!) for breakfast lunch brunch. But that siopao is one of the best siopao I ate. But hey you! See, I endorsed it! Too bad i forgot the name of the store it came from. =)
Is that because I came early in office? Nah. I am 10-minutes late. Poor me. Need to pay it 1 hour. (Company’s policy: You need to extend one hour in office if you are late to “pay” the lost time. Even if you’re just a minute late!) Never mind, it’s useless for me ’cause I usually work overtime.
Is that because it seems everybody is greeting me good morning? Oh well. Kinda. Ooppps. Nah. Not everybody. It’s just “almost”.
Maybe because, I sleep with a smile last night. So I woke up with a smile too! It makes sense, right?
Oh by the way, Good Morning my dearest bloggers! ^_^
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Posted on Apr 17, 2008 under Uncategorized |
I don’t know how will i start this post. Actually, I have lots of things to say. But I don’t know how. At least, I manage to start, ne?
I am not feeling well. Again. Headache. Maybe due to lack of sleep. What can I do, I can’t help it. Lots of things need to sort out in office. Too bad I can’t get enough rest! Y_Y
Yesterday, I don’t have any feelings except this one: SAD. Awww. That’s a poor thing, isn’t it? *sniff*
First, my head aches. Second, my head aches so much! Third, my head aches terribly. Oh geeze, think I’ve been redundant by that. It really shows I really need a rest, huh.
Seriously, I had this idea that I can’t, what do you call that, believe that i have an idea like that? Oh Vanny, you’re so fickle minded. Never mind. Erase, erase, erase.
I am about to sleep last night when I heard someone yelling.
I don’t wanna see your face here anymore!
So sad. Sounds like Big Brother is evicting little sister in the house, ne? Nyay. Seems you’re not part of the family, huh. Sad. You know who she he is, Vanny? *sniff again*
As I look at the other side of the room, I saw bunch of chocolates.
Too bad even these chocolates can’t turn my mood to a happy one. That’s new, huh. Me, saying NO to chocs? Hmmm. Maybe rocky road ice cream will do. I hope so. Anyone care to give me? Muah! ^_^
Need to stop this drama. My head is spinning! Urggh. Lemme just share these pics of my niece. I know she got magic that definitely give me a happy mood.
I borrowed her Bratz pony tail and mimic her usual hairdo. And she comment like
“Mama, that hairdo is for little girls only.” Lolx.
Oh well, who ever says that children don’t know how to lie, I absolutely agree!
Haha. That’s my 4-yr-old niece penmanship. Enough reason for me to smile, ayt?
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Posted on Apr 15, 2008 under Uncategorized |
My inner self is telling me that I am developing many bad habits this past few days.
- Sleeping just an average of 3 hours everyday. I always stay up late. Even though I know that I need to wake up early because I need to go to my work.
- Not eating proper meal at proper time. Actually, let’s rephrase it for a worse one. “Not eating any food at all” will suit better in my situation. I’m not hungry. But I don’t feel my stomach is full, either.
- Spending too much. I spend 5 digits money in just two weeks! The worse is, I merely forgot where I spent the money. Poor li’l one.
- Buying stuffs that I won’t use. I kept on buying lots of stuffs and I don’t know when will i use it. Rather, will i ever use it?
But the worst habit I am doing and I don’t know the cure (I even don’t know if i wanna be cured) is this:
- Continuing the we-against-the-world-relationship with you.
Bad Cheetah! Tsk tsk.
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Posted on Apr 14, 2008 under Uncategorized |
People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish; ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win false friends and some true enemies. Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you. Be honest and frank anyway.
You spend years building, someone could destroy overnight. Build anyway.
If you find serenity and hapiness, they may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may just never be enough. Give the world the best you have anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it’s all between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.
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Posted on Apr 12, 2008 under Uncategorized |
Just got home. Makati to Cubao to Pampanga. Pampanga to Cubao to Makati to Alabang to Makati to San Juan to Manila to my room. Pssshh.. I’m so tired! Hungry. Sleepy. Sleepy. Hungry. Tired.
I stayed awake all night long with my friends to show our support to a colleague’s father’s wake. Bless his father’s soul. I do admire my friend’s strength. He knows how to control his emotions in order to take care of his family’s feelings.
Before going to Pampanga, the wake’s location, I’m getting emotional. I really don’t know how will I face this fear. This feeling i can’t describe after my Blueberry past away. After he left us, I don’t know how will I hold my tears in this situation. I’m really scared. And the pain is stabbing right in my heart, again. I know it’s not the right time to interfere the scene ’cause I need to prioritize my friend’s emotions than my disturbed feelings, my sad feeling that i don’t want to can’t let go. So I decided to stay calm. They must not see any badge that I am feeling lonely.
Before we arrive to the destination, a misunderstanding happened between me and my colleagues. Imagine yourself being so worried for your friend and you want to be with him as early as you can to comfort him, to tell him that everything will be fine in God’s hands. And the people you are going to be with says they’re near at the meeting location so the first thing you gonna do is run hurriedly. And when you got there they will say that they’re just kiddin’ around and the truth is they’re still miles away?! C’mon! I got pissed. So much!
I don’t know. Am i being shallow? Urrgh. Don’t blame them Vanny. They don’t know what’s your real feelings that time. Be kind, anyway. You know how much these guys love you. And you know they also know that you love them so dearly.
When my friend is saying his sentiments about his father’s memories, I really want to cry. Tell them all that I can’t hold my tears anymore. But my friend is too strong. So I need to be one also. Yet perhaps I need to thank the washroom. At least, no one didn’t see me there when my tears rolled in my cheeks.
I need a rest. We all need a rest. Good night sweeties! Maybe tomorrow when i woke up, everything will be A-OK.
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